Tour de France telephone and other party games

It's go time in Rotterdam! All the pundits have weighed in with their obligatory Tour de France general classification picks and I'm giddy like a teenage girl waiting for the midnight showing of Twilight. Now all that we can do is wait for the first rider to roll off the prologue starting ramp. It's a classic short prologue so all it's going to provide is the general classification. Luckily we won't have to wait too long for the action to start. As Armstrong said at the team presentation, this edition of the Tour is not one that you can ride yourself into. Just like your high school romance, it's “complicated”.

The complications aren't just on the roads of the Tour. Things can get wacky right up to the start on Saturday. A rumor was floating around like a stagnant fart that RadioShack wasn't going to be allowed to start the Tour. And just like a fart it was unpleasant and no one 'fessed up to who started it. Bicycling Magazine's Bill Strickland Twittered the rumor and quoted two unnamed sources, but even he doubted the validity of the claims. While highly unlikely that the Shack would be bounced out of Rotterdam it did give me a moment of pause. That could have been a disaster of, dare I use the word, epic proportions. As I write this it looks like Lance and company have no fears and will be ripping through the downtown streets on their new Treks.

While that rumor blew away in the northern wind, another gassy story bubbled up – Saxo Bank riders were cashing in their chips and entertaining better job offers. Title sponsor Saxo Bank was done at the conclusion of the season so Riis was hustling like a pimp to find his next sugar momma. Apparently, he isn't keeping his pimp hand strong and it looks like he'll be losing some key earners. The Schlecks are rumored to be leaving Riis and joining a new formation that is coming out of their native country of Luxemburg. The kick to the gut is that it's being run by former Saxo Team manager Kim Anderson. That's got to sting Bjarne a bit. His right hand man splits and the Schlecks at the first sign of sponsorship troubles it's, “auf wiedersehen.” Maybe it was one too many team building boot camps in some God forsaken lake that made the thought of leaving the Danish director an option to consider.

The Schlecks weren't the only ones considering offers. Fabian Cancellara was rumored to be in talks with BMC. That would be a score. Imagine Cancellara and Bookwalter as teammates ripping up the team time trial. With Evans driving that red train they could put some real damage into the g.c. of any Grand Tour that included this discipline.

Now this rumor would break my heart if true – Chris Horner back to Astana?! Et tu, Chris? I'm just hoping this was rumor got started by some delusional journo looking to fill column inches. Chris, I love you, but you never looked good in the baby blue and yellow Astana kits. You're more of a “winter complexion.” Just consider that when choosing a new team.

The “get” for any team next season is obviously Alberto Contador. The Spaniard has been linked to so many teams – Caisse d' Epargne, Quick Step, to a new squad being formed out of Spain by a Formula 1 driver. Hell, I read that he also just might stay put at Astana. I kind of doubt that last one and I'd put cash money on Caisse d' Epargne scoring Contador. Kind of ironic that they lose one Puerto rider and gain another – but hey, we're going to put that in the past and move on.

One Spanish Astana rider who is going no where at the end of the season is Oscar Pereiro. He wasn't selected for the Tour squad and as a result announced that, like Armstrong, this is his last year. Pereiro was picked up earlier this year by Astana and that seems to have been the equivalent of pity sex. “Okay, okay...quite your whining and you can join the team. But no snuggling!”

With only a day separating us from what is being called the most wide open Tour EVER (!?) there are many options to watch this Tour. Of course there is the traditional way of turning on your television and switching the channel to Versus, but that's so 2009. You're a busy, important person and probably don't enjoy the flaky writer lifestyle that I maintain. You can't be in front of your idiot box all the time. Sure you can set your TiVo to record all the racing action, but that means you need to be home to watch it. In this time of instant gratification why wait until then? Thanks to the Versus Tour Tracker you can watch it via the company computer on their dime. The technological advancements don't end there - you can get all kinds of Tour information streaming to your iPhone, also courtesy of the hard working folks at the Versus mothership. And if you don't have an iPhone – well that just makes Lance and RadioShack sad. You don't want that do you?

If hearing British people talk seems confusing or nonsensical to you there's another option. Tune into my live daily chat which will be running from 10:00 until at least noon Eastern time. I'll have guests, prizes and maybe a few drinking games thrown in for good measure. It's happy hour somewhere...

One last thing - for crying out loud don't be “that guy” who say's, “Don't tell me what happened today, I haven't seen it yet.” I will punch you.