No-Show-Joe at it Again
By Adrian Dater
April 21, 2009
Somebody needs to sit Joe Thornton down and play him that great scene from “Glengarry Glen Ross” where Alec Baldwin insults the manhood of Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris and Alan Arkin to light a fire under their underperforming salesmen arses.
“They’re sitting out there, waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna to take it? Are you man enough to take it?” Baldwin says, leaning into Lemmon’s space with sneering emasculation.
Somebody needs to make Joe Thornton really mad. Someone needs to replace that sleepy-eyed look of his with Ed Harris’ face at the end of the movie, after Al Pacino’s character makes a crack about his weak sales figures.
Because – and this is a tough thing to say, but it’s got to be said – if the San Jose Sharks choke away their first-round series to Anaheim, Joe Thornton will officially become the NHL equivalent of Bernie Madoff.
Like they did to Madoff’s investors, things always look great in the beginning with Thornton. There are early payouts, and great looking quarterly statements, but when it’s time to cash out and retire?
There’s nothing there.
The numbers tell it all: 842 points in 836 career regular-season games for Jumbo Joe. But in the playoff: 49 points in 72 games. In eight previous playoff appearances, none of Thornton’s two teams have ever gotten past the second round. He has never scored more than two goals in any playoff season.
When he was traded by the Boston Bruins to the Sharks in 2005, his playoff reputation already was bad (zero points in 13 playoff games from 1998 and 2004 alone, 18 points in 23 others).
That was because he didn’t play on good enough teams and opponents could zero in on him in the postseason, Thornton defenders said. Things would be different on a Sharks team where it wasn’t all up to him.
But it is the Bruins who are well on their way to the next round, while the Sharks entered Tuesday’s Game 3 against the Ducks in Anaheim down 0-2, with two goals against Jonas Hiller.
Thornton has one assist and five shots on goal, none of which crossed the skinny red line.
After Jonathan Cheechoo made it 3-2 with about six minutes left in Game 2, the stage was set for Thornton to do something worthy of his $7.2 million salary. This was the time to lead, the time to turn those “No-Show-Playoff-Joe” headlines around.
Instead, Thornton barely got his stick on the puck. The clock ticked to all zeroes with little drama, and Thornton made another all-too-familiar sad skate off the ice.
Look, it’s not all Thornton’s fault. Patrick Marleau is pulling another disappearing act, too, and Evgeni Nabokov let in a softie that totally killed his team in Game 2.
But Thornton is the guy who gets the big bucks and the big minutes, and this is just the way it is in playoff hockey: your big guys either produce, or you go home. It is becoming incomprehensible, however, how many times Thornton has not produced for his teams in the playoffs.
Everybody has an off year or two in the playoffs, but this will be Thornton’s ninth off year.
If that hasn’t made him mad by now, not even Alec Baldwin may be able to save him.
*****
A few of other playoff observations:
* Keith Tkachuk is Thornton’s playoff Mini-Me. Here’s another guy with about a point-a-game average through more than 1,000 regular-season games. But entering Game 4 of his St. Louis Blues’ series with Vancouver, Tkachuk has 56 points in 88 career postseason games. He has zero points in the three games, and two goals in his last 19.
* How many superstar forwards would do what Alex Ovechkin did in Game 3 against the Rangers Monday night, chasing back on an opposing breakaway, then diving to poke-check the puck away. That’s leadership. The Caps are still going to win that series.
* As somebody who has seen just about every game in the last 14 years of Joe Sakic’s career, it is absolutely amazing how much Jonathan Toews resembles him on the ice; The same skating stride, same position, same uniform number and, best of all, same leadership traits.
* Jonas Hiller is playing great for the Ducks, but something tells me we’ll still see Jean-Sebastien Giguere before the playoffs are through. Still, Hiller is looking very much like Ilya Bryzgalov did for the Ducks in their 2006 run to the Western finals.
* The Bruins are the fastest team in the NHL, hands down. Oh, and Milan Lucic’s one-game suspension was a joke.
* Roberto Luongo might take the Canucks to the Finals, but the Canucks are going to have to get more goal-scoring eventually. They can't win every game 2-1 or 3-2.
Adrian Dater covers the NHL for the Denver Post
Dater Archive
Apr. 14: Too Many Games, Not Enough "Sets"
Apr. 7: Lawton, Stars Would Rather Reject These Awards
Mar. 31: I Hope These Teams Are Turned Away
Mar. 26: Bettman Addresses Several Hot Topics
Mar. 24: Cherry Spews Sour Grapes on Ovechkin
Mar. 17: Playoff Ticket Prices, Ecomony About to Clash
Mar. 10: The Boss' Lyrics A Sour Note to League's Ears
Mar. 3: Goring to Isles Tops Deadline List
Feb. 24: Fighting Has Increased and It's Not Going Away
Feb. 17: Sad But True: GMs Gone Wild
Feb. 10: Butcher Job on Broadway and Lazarrus-Like Miracles
Feb. 3: Failures of Others Doomed Hartsburg
Jan. 27: Lemieux Will be There for Thornton
Jan. 20: Lemieux Looks to be 18 Again
Jan. 13: Young Bucks Raking It In
Jan. 12: Great Debate: Best French-Canadian Netminder
Jan. 7: Capped Out
Dec. 30: Sid & Ovie: Marketing 101
Dec. 16: Economic Realities Could $lash Checks
Dec. 11: Sakic's Incident Occurs While on IR
Dec. 9: No Trust Fund, But Five Great Clips
Dec. 2: Gagne Gets Nod for Early Hart
Nov. 25: What Happened to the Avs
Nov. 18: Roy Produced Many Priceless Moments
Nov. 11: Hall Laments Game's Lack of Respect
Nov. 4: D-Man Fingered for Early Award
Oct. 28: Canadian Teams Whine When It's Time to Help
Oct. 21: Savard's Leash Severed
Oct. 14: Making Rocky Road Out of Vanilla
